my abf entered mmt about a month ago. he became more focused, more loving, helpful around the house, than he had been in a long while – actually perhaps more than i’ve ever seen him. he didn’t have the “treatment high” syndrome, just paying attention to some of the nuts and bolts of life.


i wanted him to do inpatient treatment, then decided i would be “ok” with outpatient, but he has resisted both.


i sometimes wondered if he was doing the program as he was supposed to — nights when he would nod a bit for couple hours, sleeping patterns that weren’t normal for him, and sometimes just a gut feeling that something wasn’t right. but not knowing too much about mmt, and getting stable, i was never sure.


this morning i walked in unexpectedly and sure enough, he scrambled to hide something. it was a syringe.


he is just about to go into phase 2, where he gets an extra t.h. every week. so clean ua’s for 30 days. he said he is only shooting the methadone, i believe he is getting extra from somewhere (his many friends/connections out there) so he is abusing, right?


he said it’s really about a fixation he has with needles. i can buy that, but it’s still not working the program the way he’s supposed to. right? not sure what to do at this point. i feel betrayed and confused.


i need some time and distance to get clarity. where should he go (living with me now) and what should my response be? i have been extremely supportive for a long, long time and hoped that last year was his last relapse. i don’t think he’s using h, but of course how would i know. any feedback very welcome

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